Saturday, 21 November 2009

something to hide

sigh, i really regret not doing circle geometry homework.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

it's never enough

no matter how much i love you,
it never seems to be enough.
the more i love you,
the more it hurts.

then before i realised it,
you were out of my reach,
i lost the hand i was meant to grab,
i lost the voice i was meant to follow.

you left so fast,
i didn't have time to say good-bye
and every day after that,
i wish i did.

tell me i'm useless

so today my dear mother went agro, i mean seriously i think she could scream for the whole day and not get tired. She's like 2 metres away and even has to yell, going to be deaf one day. And then she starts swearing and that's even louder, i think the only swear she knows in english is 'FUCK'. i don't know why parents make a big fuss over little things, such a pain. And then she goes on about killing us or some shit, saying 'you don't think i'll really do it? i can do anything i want with you, i'm your mum! I was the one who fed you and looked after you.' and then she threatens to kick us out, 'go live with your friends or something, if they'll take you in.'
she can really make me angry sometimes. and then my dad is the calm type. so he rarely raises his voice but then yes, he can be scary. i think one time when we slept late, he told us to stay up until my mum comes home from work, which was at like 3 in the morning. and another time he threatened to chuck the comp. LOL

so anyways she's not here at the moment cause she's taking emma to tutor so there's peace and quiet at home. but it's not going to last.

damn! i still have to finish my pe assignment still on the second question, sucks.

Friday, 11 September 2009

days to be remembered

when i realised what i was feeling,
i didn't want it.
if only i could take back what once was,
to have what i once had.
not nothing or this awkwardness,
i'm missing you,
more than you can imagine
it hurts when there's no good-bye,
for some reason,
it's effecting me more than i care for.
the times online, seems like a lost memory.
what happened between us?
it use to be so easy, so natural
and now it's strained ... or i'm exaggerating.
before i realise it i'm waiting for that,
orange light to flash up,
but the ones that do, are never yours.
i'll get use to it, one day.
all the times of drinking red bull
and going high is lost,
the pranks were fun,
but disappeared too quickly.
i remember when you'll listen to everything.
it's odd to find inspiration from these little things,
yet i won't call it little.
you were a huge part of my life.
still is, always will be ... it seems.
such kindness, i never experienced,
the understanding, the trust.
all meant so much.
i'll wait here, for that one day,
when it's you that flashes up on my screen
and make me smile and laugh.

Thursday, 20 August 2009

when i reflect on the words i wrote, they give me the shivers. for they were harsh and so true.
why am i still confused over my feelings for you?
betimes i think hating you is better than being confused. it should have gone away when i ended it, yet it's still there. God, i'm an idiot. it was a long time ago, or maybe it just felt like it.
i don't want this uncertainty.

Monday, 17 August 2009

my hair
umm ... grey and red?
yup :)
nope
hungry
this again? umm, a book
a-i-m, i don't see the difference though
hmmm, i remember i was in the forest and i got lost with some people, and yeah that's pretty much it :D
nope
fluids, mouth dry :(
sometimes
greeen
you mean the word? just then :D hi aim
sometimes
yup :D
nope, i mean i don't wanna waste 1000 seconds of my life counting :L
lick it ;) yum
nope
that depends if myself is being nice
yup
ewww, no :L
some song
1 - australia :D
yes, extremely
of course man
yes, i'll make him pay for the food :D
of course
yeah, the lamp. it's so bright and shiny :L
oooh, i wish. i'll live in it one day
no, too cheap
ummm, juliana? i think.
yup, so fun :L
hahahaha, then i'll shoot you
yeah, give me 1 hour :)
sisters and myself
white
nope
yes
yes
yes
no, i'm just forgiving
nope
don't have one :L
yup
nope
nope, show me?
are you homesexual?
don't remember
or
9 ... something
at the bottom? sometimes
a week ago?
yes, and i'll do it again :D :L
not even
nope
LOL, on the face? nope. i wish :D
holidays! :D
orange
sometimes
nope
emma :D
nope, don't have one in my room :L use to, then my mum moved it ==
dunno
uhh ... don't know.
of course
rarely
humans :D :L
hot chips, yum :D
69. Do you have good vision? nope, i'm myopia :D
yeah, like a pro
yeah, i'm forgiving remember?
nope
of course
pjs :D
ooh, yeah. but i don't think i could fit through it anymore :(

honestly, you're so gay

i don't remember
people who are funny
school work
shower
no
no
camp if i can go and holiday :D
some of them
don't know
what's that?
3 :)
black
no
which one, soccer? sometimes :)
no, it'll usually go on the ground. :) yes, i'm a restless sleeper
dunno
nothing
don't have one
LOL, yup =3
white-yellow?
if only i could drive
canon? i think ...
238298302 which = 2 hahaha.
this fat lady with glasses, forgot her name. then she changed school and we got this old hag ==' she was so mean.
yup nad my dad, hahahaa.
nope
not really, my hands are
LOL, that would be funny.
nope
that question if confusing.
if the jeans look pretty, i buy it. i don't bother with all that shit :)
red bottle lid :L
uhhh ... don't play much :L
sometimes
dad
i think so and i whacked someone with the stick too, it was so fun :D
none
i'm super gay
emma
sleep, more sleep and sleep
oooh, no. might try that
i don't have any :L
2938219083
14 years ago :)
yup
no LOL. i want to be arrested :D

Sunday, 16 August 2009

i'm looking at your face

is a butt and is very big and squishy.
i have no idea what comes out of my mouth
that i shouldn't love that person
a good sleep
fun times with someone
parents are so fussy
i'll stay as close as possible to someone i hate then vomit on them :D
is a very complicated thing?
is so very gay
the same lazy person i am
people when they smile
over something stupid
a piece of crap, stupid thing doesn't work properly
i feel like going back to sleep
that i shouldn't read cause it wrecks my eyes.
that i should be really sleeping now or risk getting killed
are so cute
that i have to make an account cause i don't have one :L
go to sleep
dream a happy dream?
stay home and be a nerd
change who i am
is an epic fail cause i never do it for more than 10 minutes. :L
are the awesomest thing in the world
a bored person like me
4 months?
4 months?
none, that i know of
nope
yes
not that i know of, hope not
single
no ...
their weirdness
yes
yes
i don't know
i don't know
no ...
hmm ... no?
nope
yes, why is this question always coming up?
ye-no ... idk :L
no
none?
maybe
i'm sorry?
no
nope
lol yup
no
i'll scream at his face
yes, most of them
and leave the ones i love as well? maybe
yes
no
all of them, they're all nerds
yes
yes
uhhh, don't like any of them
when i was 8, hahaha. went to queensland
i don't remember
eyes
your face
finish a story
don't know
umm, 2? :L
of course ;)
don't know
don't have one
trying to answer this bloody question
the bombing of japan, so then we'll have world war 3 :D hahaa
don't know
my pj's
lefty
at home
the blue one?
bird
29. Favorite juice? orange
yes
yes
no
no one
8, yes i have big feet
glasses
no, never had one
nope
yes, a book called dark fire
no
yes
kinda, my mum
never had one
? me
my sisters
mum
barbie and the magic of the rainbow
stay home and sleep
a person who's gay
friends
get stuffed, i'm 14 =='
no
running away
yes
maybe
don't know
yes
yes :D
no
awesome ;)
the time of cavemen
don't have one
no
i don't know
when god thinks it's the right time
no
don't know
no
camp, certain someone and a book i'm reading
yes
yes
no
yes
deep in thought, sad, or just don't feel like talking
yes
yes
yes
sometimes
don't know

Saturday, 15 August 2009

If you won the lottery, what's the 1st thing you would buy?a humumngous birthday present
What if you found out you were adopted?
i would search for my real parents and then tell them off for abandoming me, and steal their money if they were rich.
What would you do if you walked into your house only to find your boyfreind and your mother making out?
i would scream and bash him up and then i'll guess i'll move out, to a friends house or something.
What if a stranger told your your partner was cheating on you? i'll bash him up for lying and if it was true i still bash him up and then go bash my 'partner' up.
If you could adopt one personality trait from someone, who and what?
patience but don't know from who.
What would you want to experience if you found out you were dying?
sky diving, totally.
What if you or your partner found out they were pregnant tomorrow?
uhhh .. how would you know you were pregnant tomorrow?
What if you found out your BFF was sleeping with your partner?
i'll dump him and maybe ditch the friend, maybe.
If you could have avoided living one year of your past, which one and why?
this year probably because of parents being so obsessed with my reports and marks and shit.
What if your dog crapped on your bed?
i'll chuck the sheets and get a new one and then lock him out.
What if you saw that George W Bush had fallen in a well in your back yard?
chuck dirt at his face and then i'll laugh at him.
What would a person have to do to let you know WITHOUT telling you, that they didn't like you?
give me the dirties
What if you found out your partner had a sex change?i'll still love them, if they were still the same person inside
If you were to drown in a liquid, other than water, what would it be?
dare ice coffee, yum
If you could start a charity, what kind would you start?
hmm ... a kind that would help everyone.
What if soda was illegal, would you still drink it?
yes
What if you could only have one friend, who would it be?
don't know
If the world ended tomorrow, do you think you will go to heaven?
don't believe in those stuff
If you were paid 100 million dollars to sleep with an HIV positive person, would you?
hell no
If you knew you couldnt get caught, would you rob a bank?
yes
If you could have a super power, what one would you choose?
healing
If you had to move out of the state you're in, what state would you move to?
queensland
If you could be forgiven for one thing in your life, what would you choose?
telling someone's else deepest thoughts
If you were to die in a public place, exactly what spot would you choose?
outside a pub
If you had to have one song stuck in your head forever, what song would you choose?
love in the ice - dbsk
If you had to die in one of history's disasters, which one would you pick?
the tsunami that happened on boxing day.
If you could take revenge on any one you know, who, why, how?
no, don't want to
If you could have someone else's thoughts though your own body, who, why?
someone, so i can know what they're truly thinking
If you could choose how you die, how would it happen?
a bullet to the head.
If you could instantly play an instrument you never played, which one?
flute
If you could solve one unsolved crime, which one would you solve?
don't know
If you could discover one medical cure, what would it be for?
the one in 1 litre of tears
If you could undo one lie in your life, what would it be, and why?
spilling the beans when i shouldn't have
If you were given a race horse, what would you name it?
ass
If you could sing one song, beautifully and perfectly, what one?
happy birthday song :L
If you could warn yourself in the past, about something, what would it be?
hurting someone
If you could eliminate one word from english vocab, what would it be?
don't know
If you had inverted nippes, would you get surgery to correct it?
what's that? :O
If you lost all your hair, would you wear wigs or embrace your new look?
embrace my new looks :D
What if your best friend of the same sex proposed marriage to you?
i'll marry them :D
What if you could literally be a virgin again, would you want to?
no
If given five dollars to spend in a dollar store, what would you buy?cheapy pencil
If you could fly, would it be with wings, a cape, fairy dust...ect.?
wings, so i'm an angel :D
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
watermelon :)
If you could take back one thing you said recently, what would it be?
don't know
If you had to keep your initials, but change your name, what would it be?
i'll change my first name to ellen :D
If you could get rid of a fear, which would it be?
being alone
If forced to make out with an animal, what animal do you choose?
a gorilla :D
If you could choose your age of death, what would that age be?
77
If your body odor was a food scent, what food would you want to smell like?
strawberry, yum
If you had your own line of something, what would it be?
listen to your heart :D
If you were a crayon color, which would you be?
orange
If in a circus, who would you be in the show?the monkey
If your life could have the same outcomes as a movie, what movie?
any of the barbie movies
If you could re-live one year of your life so far, what year would it be?
2006
If something were to be named after you, what would you want it to be?
a flower
If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?
my test results
If you were given a year supply of something, what would it be?
ice - cream
If you were given a prop from a movie, what movie would it be?
a broom from harry potter, so i can whack people with it.
What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion?
i would go with them and give them support
What if you caught one of your parents cheating on the other?
the other parent and me would go bash up the cheater.
What if you found out you and your partner were blood related?
break up and live like relatives.